then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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