what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
