he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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