some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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