Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
