Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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