we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
