so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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