I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
