Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize