I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
