Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
