I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
