He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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