Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
