come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
