i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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