You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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