So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
