if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
