I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize