You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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