Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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