mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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