I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
