So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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