They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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