i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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