Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
