Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
