that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
