If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
