Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
