i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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