So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
