did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
