Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
