oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
