dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
MIDGETS
????
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I want is dick and wine.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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