trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize