My nipple is on Facebook.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
