Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
