is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
