i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize