so that wasnt chicken after all
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
