Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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