she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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