you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
