I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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