:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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