Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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