just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
