i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
