just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
