What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
