In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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