I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
