Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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