I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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