i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
