Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
