my sisters under your porch take her home
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
