Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
