At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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